Life is too short for the wrong boyfriend. Researchers have found that the silent treatment is used by both men and women to terminate a partner's behaviors or words rather than to elicit them. In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them. You might attempt to kiss her on the cheek, and she will pull away before you can make contact. If you are in immediate danger contact the national hotline (1-800-799-SAFE) or call 911. I still sometimes have bad dreams about the someone in my life like you have and it has been over 30 years. I dont know what else to do its gotten as bad as she wont even go out to dinner with me. How to Have Difficult Marriage Conversations, Unique Issues Facing Black Women Dealing With Abuse, Coping With ADHD in Romantic Relationships, How to Leave a Toxic Relationship in 6 Steps, How to Identify Financial Abuse in a Relationship, Effects of Conflict and Stress on Relationships, Understanding the Dynamics of Texting in Relationships, How to Grow Emotional Intimacy in Your Marriage, How Nitpicking Can Damage Your Relationship, Daily Tips for a Healthy Mind to Your Inbox, A meta-analytical review of the demand/withdraw pattern of interaction and its associations with individual, relational, and communicative outcomes, Demand-withdraw patterns in marital conflict in the home, Use the silent treatment to put you in your place, Give you the cold shoulder for days or weeks at a time, Refuse to talk, make eye contact, answer calls, or respond to texts, Fall back on the silent treatment when things don't go their way, Use it as a way to avoid taking responsibility for bad behavior, Punish you with the silent treatment when you upset them, Require you to apologize or give in to demands just so they will talk to you, Refuse to acknowledge you until you grovel and plead, Silence you when you attempt to assert yourself by refusing to talk, Communicate disdain or contempt in order to maintain the silence, Resort to anger and hostility to shut you up, Use it as the primary means of dealing with conflict. What Resources Are Available for Sexual Assault? Giving your partner the silent treatment isn't harmless - ABC Everyday Carly Snyder, MD is a reproductive and perinatal psychiatrist who combines traditional psychiatry with integrative medicine-based treatments. If the silent treatment is part of a larger emotional abuse issue, then it is important for the victimized person to recognize what is taking place and get help. She has projects she says she is behind on but I just find messes here and there with nothing finished or of tangible significance. It becomes a real problem when it's a pattern and is unexplained, Ms Shaw says. "Control Anger Before it Controls You." | The MEND Project, Overt vs. Covert Behavior (Relationship Examples), Covert Abuse: The Unseen Emotional Killer of Relationships, Love-Bombed: A Story of Surviving from Vesper, Healing from a Covert Narcissist: By Michelle, Finally Things are Going to Change: The Story of Leaving a Covert Narcissist.